Have you ever met a person who seems obsessed with themselves, lacks empathy and frequently seeks admiration? Dealing with narcissistic individuals can be emotionally draining and overwhelming. Narcissism is a personality disorder described by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for attention and admiration and lack of empathy towards others. Understanding these behaviors can help you protect yourself.
There are powerful strategies:
1. Ignore them. Depriving them of your attention shows them they have no power over you. If the person is toxic or abusive, consider cutting them out of your life. Go completely “no contact” by blocking their number and social media account.
2. Act differently toward them. Treat them like anyone else. Keep from praising them excessively, don’t react to their comments, and stick to neutral statements.
3. Tell them how happy you are. Some toxic people feel worse when they see others thrive. They may feel threatened by the success of others and will downplay your successes to inflate their ego.
4. Speak in facts, not emotions. Facts are hard for a manipulative person to argue with. Narcissists exaggerate the truth or gaslight you into doubting your reality to make them look good or get power over you. Keep a record of what they say or text so that you can prove you are right later if they try to lie.
5. Set hard boundaries and stick to them. They may try taking advantage of your kindness. Follow through with real consequences. When they are disrespectful, continue the conversation once they have calmed down.
6. Tell them NO. ‘No’ will break their sense that they are in charge. When they tell you to do something, respond with ‘no.’ Be calm, but firm. When you stand up for yourself, you directly challenge their perception of entitlement, and they may become less demanding. However, if the person is abusive, use caution. This can also be dangerous, and your safety is a top priority.
7. Confront them about their mistakes. They may not like criticism. They become upset when you address a mistake. You may shy away from pointing out negative behavior, even when it hurts you. Be firm, but gentle, and avoid insulting them or raising your voice.
8. Call out their manipulation. Hold them accountable. Point out their behavior and assure them it won’t work on you. Example: “It seems like you are trying to manipulate me, but it won’t work,” or “If you think I’m going to fall for that, I won’t.”
9. Focus on yourself. They will expect you to put their needs ahead of yours. Treat yourself with respect and love yourself. Put your needs first and make them known—don’t ignore your own needs to cater to theirs. Example: “I wish I could, but I’m taking the day off to relax. I’ll talk to you later!”
10. Practice emotional detachment. This is the most effective way to make a narcissist unhappy. Focus on personal development, pursuing your passions and establishing fulfilling relationships with friends who appreciate and value you for who you are. Reclaiming your sense of self and living a fulfilling life will defy the narcissist’s attempts to control and diminish you.
Once you withdraw your attention and move on, the narcissist will become unhappy as they lose control. Instead, focus on healing and building a new life. Build a support network who sincerely want to see you doing well and focus on the outside world.
