I am tired, pooped and exhausted from my ongoing home battle with the resilient and constantly repopulating – irritating and aggravating – little community of gnats. I have tried everything under the sun to rid my lovely home of these pests including sprays, sticky blue light traps, bowls of vinegar, insect bombs and a good rolled up newspaper to smack them into oblivion. I even called the exterminator who sadly explained he could do nothing to help my dilemma. While I have experienced limited success, they are repopulating at the speed of light. What is one to do?

The battle began in early May when I brought my first crop of delicious, red homegrown tomatoes from the garden into the house. My better half had tried a new and innovative method of planting that began in February with bottomless gallon buckets covering newly planted tomato plants in the garden. In times of cold or frost, he simply popped a lid on the buckets, and Tada! – a mini greenhouse to protect the growing plants! The veggies took off and prospered quickly, and we had tomatoes long before anyone else. The lovely red orbs piled up quickly and we were giddy with his success.

It seems we were not the only ones who enjoyed the first bite of fresh tomatoey goodness. It wasn’t long before I spotted one miniscule black dot of something crawling amongst the harvest. Closer inspection revealed the culprit – a gnat. Having had experience with them before, I immediately began my attack and merciless onslaught to remove this one little bitty teeny-weeny pest… no such luck. Last Sunday, as the family sat down to enjoy a mouth-watering meal of goodness, an army of gnats attacked us like bombers from WWII, diving in and amongst our ears, eyes and food. They even moved into other rooms of the house, taking up residence like vacationers at the beach. It appears they are prolific reproducers and have a resistance the human race can only envy.

While I have declared battle and the population has dwindled, the war has not yet been won.

I chase them around like a wild woman with a flyswat covered in a plastic bag swatting and swiping stuff off the kitchen cabinets and hitting everything but the elusive insects. I give a big victory cry when I finally manage to hit a gnat target, then turn around to see 50 more buzzing around the kitchen sink. There have been other casualties as well… a few broken dishes, a knick-knack or two, a stubbed toe, my pride; yet it’s worth it… every loss, every injury, every penny spent on irradicating them. I will not relent!

In the meantime, the tomatoes are gone, but the gnats grow fatter. I’m still swatting, plotting and resolved. If all else fails, around December, cold weather will arrive and I will be vindicated. The resilient insects will succumb, and victory will be mine… I hope.