The Dollar Store is now the $5 Dollar Store Alexandria and Monroe are having a rash of “run by shootings” Post Office charges $3 to deliver a $1 newspaper Schools now have a pre-pre-k complete with baby beds and strollers Auto dealers require a pint of blood to look at a new pickup truck Your new catalog is printed and before it can be distributed all of the prices have gone up Car commercials never mention the price Every TV commercial is drug related, insurance or free lawsuits Blade Loop will soon be a toll road to pay for all the potholes Thieves are now holding up gas stations for gas The insurance company seizes your car to pay for your premium You win the “big jackpot” at the casino and receive a pocketful of smiley faces