A Bar-B-Q at Jeffrey Dahmer’s place

Alec Baldwin loading my pistol

Ringing that sledgehammer bell at the circus

My dog not barking at the doorbell

Congress agreeing on something, anything

Going to Outback and not eating a thing

Stock car races with school buses

New car prices going down Americans migrating to Mexico

Your husband not snoring at night

Eating crawfish with a knife and fork

No one getting shot on Labor Day weekend

Going somewhere without your phone

Nancy Grace defending the accused

Alex Murdaugh settling my lawsuit

Brian Kohburger having your master key

Writing a check for a money order

My seat belt buzzer forgetting to go off

Jews and Palestinians living in peace

Nascar going all electric